TW: This blog post includes discussions of child sexual abuse.
Recently, I attended and participated in a consent workshop led by sexuality nurse and professional, Vanessa Hamilton.
With a plethora of knowledge and education around supporting young people to have authentic and responsible sexual experiences, Vanessa’s workshop covered exceptional and expansive ground on the diversity of human sexuality, respecting boundaries and protective measures for minimising the risk of sexual violence.
From the perspective of someone with an education background, the session was both enlightening and confronting. While the conversation ignited a sense of celebration and positivity towards the school’s mission of inclusivity of all genders and sexualities, part of the conversation focused on the recent findings from the 2017 Royal Commission into Child Sexual Abuse. The Royal Commission has revealed disturbing statistics and urgent need for greater attention towards protecting children and upholding a duty of care.
This Royal Commission will be historically known for exposing the appalling and widespread abuse of children who were placed in both government and non-government institutions across Australia, including schools.
It also highlights the incompetence of authorities in noticing and reporting abuse and allowing children to ‘slip through the cracks’.
A strategy that we can put in place is teaching our children how to keep themselves safe and knowing when something is wrong – and the most effective way we can educate them about safety is through consent education.
Introducing consent in children as young as kindergarten age is not unorthodox or radical. In fact, teaching consent in childhood can provide the building blocks for giving and receiving sexual consent for when they get older. It can also be an important tool for children and young people to understand their personal boundaries and notice when these aren’t respected.
So, how can we foster consent education in children?
According to Vanessa, consent education adapted to early ages can help them develop positive relationships with others and themselves, the need to ask for permission and concepts of bodily autonomy. This may sound like a difficult task, but can be simple when implemented into their daily routines.
For example, prompting children to correctly name their body parts can promote body safety and open communication. This can also reduce embarrassment and reduce stigmas for children. You can add some creativity through song, books and activities, such as colouring.
Through these behaviours, it is important to establish that only the child’s parents/guardians should touch their genitals during bathing/changing clothes.
We can also engage in consent education by modelling the asking of permission and verbally expressing the word “no”. Remember, no matter the age, no always means no! Emphasise asking before doing and respecting boundaries rather than using force.
Through parents expressing verbal praise when children engage in consent, we can also prompt children to develop the confidence to call out disrespectful and damaging behaviour.
Steps like these can normalise consent conversations, enable children to identify problematic behaviour and respect the boundaries of others. These are important in establishing a safe, respectful and comfortable environment for all children and young people.
Primary prevention should not be a ‘new’ idea to young people by the time they reach young adulthood. As Vanessa Hamilton points out, we can use basic understandings and notions of consent education in childhood to lay the foundations for consent for all stages of our lives.
For more education about Vanessa Hamilton and her work, visit her website at https://www.talkingthetalksexed.com.au.