This week Melbourne’s heading back into iso which means going to parties, social gatherings and even school itself could be off the cards for a while. These days the only way to keep in contact with your mates is via social media. It comes as no surprise that there has been a huge increase in sexting since the pandemic began. Many teens are trying it out perhaps for the first time, which is great! Sexting between teenagers is not a crime, although sometimes it feels like it. There’s quite a big taboo around the subject, especially for teens, sexting may never be mentioned in sex education and it can be tricky to navigate the legalities (Youth Law is a great reference to ask any sorts of legal questions to do with sex and relationships). As with real life relationships, the most important factor with online relationships and sexting is consent. Consent should be as easy as a yes or a no, but of course, life’s not that simple!
Especially for young people, saying no can be particularly difficult. Peer pressure plays a huge role in manipulating young people to do things that they may not want to do. This is not about denying young people their right to their own sexual agency and independence but making sure that everyone understands the risks involved with sexting and sending explicit pictures and of course, that both parties involved genuinely want to be participating.
It can often be helpful to diffuse an uncomfortable situation by using an exit strategy, such as “my wifi’s cutting out”, “I’ve got to head to bed” or “I need to help my parents with something”. Some people find that using humour is also a great tool, for example sending a black screen and saying “I’m naked but you just can’t see it in this lighting”, the bottom line here being that sexting should be about having fun and having a laugh for both parties. Of course, the ultimate goal is to get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to be able to express yourself and say things like, “I’m actually just not okay with this” or “I’m not ready to try this yet”. It’s always good to keep in mind that if you get asked to sext, you’re actually the one in a powerful position. You have the power to either engage with it, turn it down or if you feel totally uncomfortable, delete and block someone.
If you’re still really stuck for ideas on how to say no, or need other advice in this area, you can contact the Kids Helpline for some great tips.
In the next couple of weeks, the Empowered Together team are putting together a series of free online Q&A sessions all about sexting, consent and relationships for young people. Keep an eye out for them on our socials!