Content warning: This blog contains a discussion of grooming, incest and child sexual abuse which some readers may find distressing. If you need to reach out to seek help, contact 1800RESPECT.
It was inevitable that the Game of Thrones prequel series, House of the Dragon, would be popular and consumed weekly with cult-like fascination. Now that the final episode of season one has aired – let’s take a look at some of the dynamics.
For followers of the maiden HBO series from this universe, it is known that the usurped Targaryen royalty was partial to incestuous practices in order to keep the bloodline, claim to the throne, and ability to control their dragons strong. Viewers have become used to seeing incest play out on screen at this point, between twins Cersei (Lena Heady) and Jamie (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) Lannister, and between Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and his aunt Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke). The main difference between the two series is that it is clear in Game of Thrones that you should not be on board with these couples, whereas House of the Dragon seems to leave this in a moral grey area.
In House of the Dragon – it’s everywhere, and it’s unlikely you would be able to enjoy the show if you had experience with this kind of trauma. Dr. Judith L Herman recently told Newsweek in relation to the series “certainly anything in pop culture that denies the harm of incest is hurtful to survivors. They’ve encountered enough denials, rationalizations, excuses, and yes, glorifications of incest throughout their lives.”
There are brothers and sisters forced to marry. There are cousins who marry their cousins who have children and then marry their children to their cousins. To the characters in the show, this is perfectly normal. The most problematic in its representation and reception is the relationship between Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock, Emma D’Arcy) and Daemon (Matt Smith) Targaryen – the daughter and brother of King Viserys (Paddy Considine).
The story covers time periods of the two being a teenager and a young man, and then when they meet again, both as adults, and eventually marry.
I’ve not read the source material, G.R.R Martin’s Fire and Blood, but according to the internet – it is made clear that Damon is grooming Rhaenrya from a young age in a clear attempt to secure his place on the throne after the passing of his brother in the event that Rhaenrya is named the heir. Listen to this TikToker explain:
The show also represents this. There are clear signs of grooming, and follows the steps well known within social work: targeting the victim, gaining trust, fulfilling a need, isolating the child, sexual contact, and maintaining control.
Damon has a clear target from the beginning due to Rhaenrya’s proximity to the throne. He knows this may be his only way to ensure his succession to at least King Consort.
He has spent many years building trust with her and maintaining a close relationship. I think this is best represented by the two speaking in their native tongue to each other when most in the show speak the common tongue (English).
After Rhaenrya is named heir and he father marries her best friend, Alicent Hightower (Emily Carey, Olivia Cooke), Daemon became one of her only allies, which fulfills a need for her as she begins to have more strained relationships with the people in Kings Landing.
He eventually sneaks her out to experience life as the everyday people of Westeros, both isolating her physically, and fulfilling a need for her to leave the watchful eye of her home. During this night out, he makes sexual contact with her. He continues his pursuit up until Rhaenrya marries.
While the two first marry different people (their cousins respectively), his hold over her remains strong, with the two marrying after the death of Daemon’s wife Laena (Nova Foueillis-Mosé, Savannah Steyn, Nanna Bondell), and the (faked) death of Rhaenrya husband, Laenor (Matt Carver, Theo Nate, John MacMillan).
The producers themselves can’t believe that Daemon is the “Internet Boyfriend”.
While I think there and ethical ways to represent incest and there is some use in representing this kind of predatory behaviour on screen, it needs to be clear that it is – in fact – predatory and wrong. The fact of the matter is, it has not come across that way to the general audience: unfortunately, people are very attracted to Daemon Targaryen. There are even ‘feminist’ takes, like this, that emphasis the successful use of the female gaze throughout the show:
If I must say it louder for the people in the back: no matter how sexy someone is, if your take is pro-incest and pro-grooming – it is a bad take.
I see the first mistake is casting someone as popular and conventionally attractive as Matt Smith. Regardless of his character’s flaws, people will adore a character if they adore the actor. We are also in an era of loving an ‘anti-hero’ which Daemon’s archetype fits into. Though I understand that his charisma could have ultimately contributed to the grooming process, perhaps there were other actors with equal charisma, but less of a following that was loyal to him subconsciously.
Secondly, the two actors have clear chemistry which represents them as a viable couple, which in turn shows the viewer a version of them that they recognise in their own relationships. They are representing love, not a predatory relationship.
The fact of the matter is – this man killed his first wife, married his cousin (who was EVEN YOUNGER), and groomed his niece from her teens (probably earlier). I am asking nicely (not that nicely) that if you are part of this trend of thirsting over this man – stop it.
Thank you goodbye.